Most of us have come across people who seem to enjoy humiliating others. This phenomenon even has its own name - socially destructive behavior.
From the outside it looks absolutely harmless, but the consequences can be quite serious. A person gets emotional trauma, begins to doubt their own strengths, feel a lack of support, and becomes resentful.
After this, you will have to come to your senses for a long time, so it is better to take action at the first signs of destructive behavior. Here are some tips on how to do it.
Socio-destructive behavior
1. Look for signs
Before you suspect something, make sure that this is indeed a case of socially destructive behavior. Each of us spoke nonsense without thinking.
It is important that the person offends you for a specific purpose. The essence of this behavior is that one person uses negativity to belittle the reputation and merits of another, to humiliate him.
Signs of a source of socially destructive behavior:
Other people also notice this person's cocky behavior.
You are constantly defensive towards him, trying to prove something.
He is inclined to criticize, condemn, loves to gossip about his acquaintances, hiding behind good intentions.
His compliments are insincere and even offensive.
He pretends that he cares about you and wants the best.
He misleads you with tempting options.
If you are still not sure that this person is really trying to humiliate you, find out the opinion of another person who can look at the situation from the outside.
2. Set the motive
It is always important to understand from what motives a person is trying to humiliate you. The first thing that comes to mind is envy. But there are other reasons as well, for example:
Competition. This motive is especially common in the workplace, a person behaves this way, because he feels his powerlessness.
Projection. If you are doing something that this person did not succeed in, he may project his failure onto you.
Anxiety. For example, you moved to another city to pursue your dream. But parents are very worried about this and do everything to change your decision.
Thus, once you figure out the cause of the destructive behavior, you can choose the best way to deal with it.
3. Be sincere
Try to talk to the person, explain that he is hurting you. If the reason for this behavior is anxiety, try to discuss your plans and show that you are not in danger.
Communication often helps to resolve conflict situations. Explain to the person that envy and jealousy are his enemies.
4. Keep your mouth shut
If you don't like the person’s reaction to your successes, just don’t share them. Sometimes socially destructive behavior can be caused by a desire to ruin your mood.
Try to avoid those that your friend might criticize you for.
5. Change attitudes
If a stranger humiliates you, you can simply stop communicating. But after all, a friend or relative can become a source of destructive behavior, then everything is not so simple.
Try to temporarily move away from this person, perhaps then he will understand that you need support, not criticism.
6. Look at it from the other side
Criticism can motivate, and competition makes us stronger. Moreover, destructive behavior is often directed at your weak points. This can serve as a signal what exactly needs to be changed in yourself.
7. Find support
Surround yourself with people who truly appreciate and love you!
From the outside it looks absolutely harmless, but the consequences can be quite serious. A person gets emotional trauma, begins to doubt their own strengths, feel a lack of support, and becomes resentful.
After this, you will have to come to your senses for a long time, so it is better to take action at the first signs of destructive behavior. Here are some tips on how to do it.
Socio-destructive behavior
1. Look for signs
Before you suspect something, make sure that this is indeed a case of socially destructive behavior. Each of us spoke nonsense without thinking.
It is important that the person offends you for a specific purpose. The essence of this behavior is that one person uses negativity to belittle the reputation and merits of another, to humiliate him.
Signs of a source of socially destructive behavior:
Other people also notice this person's cocky behavior.
You are constantly defensive towards him, trying to prove something.
He is inclined to criticize, condemn, loves to gossip about his acquaintances, hiding behind good intentions.
His compliments are insincere and even offensive.
He pretends that he cares about you and wants the best.
He misleads you with tempting options.
If you are still not sure that this person is really trying to humiliate you, find out the opinion of another person who can look at the situation from the outside.
2. Set the motive
It is always important to understand from what motives a person is trying to humiliate you. The first thing that comes to mind is envy. But there are other reasons as well, for example:
Competition. This motive is especially common in the workplace, a person behaves this way, because he feels his powerlessness.
Projection. If you are doing something that this person did not succeed in, he may project his failure onto you.
Anxiety. For example, you moved to another city to pursue your dream. But parents are very worried about this and do everything to change your decision.
Thus, once you figure out the cause of the destructive behavior, you can choose the best way to deal with it.
3. Be sincere
Try to talk to the person, explain that he is hurting you. If the reason for this behavior is anxiety, try to discuss your plans and show that you are not in danger.
Communication often helps to resolve conflict situations. Explain to the person that envy and jealousy are his enemies.
4. Keep your mouth shut
If you don't like the person’s reaction to your successes, just don’t share them. Sometimes socially destructive behavior can be caused by a desire to ruin your mood.
Try to avoid those that your friend might criticize you for.
5. Change attitudes
If a stranger humiliates you, you can simply stop communicating. But after all, a friend or relative can become a source of destructive behavior, then everything is not so simple.
Try to temporarily move away from this person, perhaps then he will understand that you need support, not criticism.
6. Look at it from the other side
Criticism can motivate, and competition makes us stronger. Moreover, destructive behavior is often directed at your weak points. This can serve as a signal what exactly needs to be changed in yourself.
7. Find support
Surround yourself with people who truly appreciate and love you!
