Lord777
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People who know how to control themselves and their emotions are amazing. These are people who know how to remember their goals and not be distracted by trifles, who are able to act adequately when others lose their heads and who know how to remain calm in the most difficult situations.
Where does all this come from? No one will tell you exactly, I will share here what I personally came to after 30 years of researching this issue. Offhand, ten percent is what is determined by our physiology. Children are born different, people have character accentuations. The excitable type cannot cope with its impulsivity, the labile type is susceptible to moods, the psychasthenic is afraid of everything, the epileptoid himself scares everyone with his anger, changes in the hormonal background change the nature and type of emotional response.
The rest, that is, 90%, is set by upbringing and self-education. There are three main habits that give us control over our emotions, and it’s not hard for you to judge for yourself how much these habits are already yours.
The first habit is the habit of keeping a peppy format, and not getting upset and sour. This is what any army starts with when it accepts recruits: stand still, not lounging, turn your shoulders and not slouch, eyes on the commander, and do not wander around, listen to what they say, and not be distracted, answer what is supposed to, and not grumble or complain. The movements are clear and energetic, the eyes are attentive, the intonations are vigorous. When, after months of training, it will be inscribed in the body, the body will stop rattling and will begin to obey the owner. This is what creates a real base of self-control.
This is an extremely simple and absolutely clear sign: either a person owns his body and is used to controlling it, or not. If there is no physical control, psychological self-control is also impossible. You see a rattling in the body - you can't go wrong by assuming a person's impulsive reactions, mood swings and uncontrollable emotions. In this case, the body completely determines the characteristics of our behavior.
Hint: if you are not in the army, then dancing is the most useful thing at hand for the development of the bodily format. And, more broadly, sports!
The second habit is the habit of living not with feelings, but with your head. This is not about the fact that you should not have emotions, but the understanding that emotions should be your tool. It is rather a philosophy of life, these are your values and beliefs, according to which important issues should be resolved deliberately, calmly and reasonably, and not under the dictates of feelings. There are people who are not close, who call their impulsiveness spontaneity, who like living with feelings, and living reasonably is boring. This is their choice, but for this choice you have to pay with the fact that with such a philosophy of life it turns out to be difficult to control your feelings.
The third habit is the habit in any difficult situation to act constructively, and not give up. Anxious people sit back when things are good and suffer when problems arise. Active people live differently. If there are problems, active people turn on their heads and solve them. If the problems are solved and everything is in order, active people move forward towards goals. Which way of life is closer to you?
The more free time people have, which they do not know what to do, the more they are prone to depression. When you are busy, you have no time for worries, and the best way not to suffer unnecessary worries is to get busy. If you know what to do, do it. If you don't know, think. If you have to think for a long time, but the solution still does not come - take a rest, do other things for now, but sitting, doing nothing and worrying is the last thing.
In total, your habits and life principles are simple: I never give up, I always think, always in action. And - cheerfully forward!
Note: these habits are not at all psychological: they have no depth, no mystery, they are as simple as a stool. This is what surprised me most of all in successful businessmen: they do not know (and do not want to know) what it is to "accept what happened", "live here and now", "scooping up the pluses", keeping a "success diary" and other traditional psychological techniques for normalization of the internal state: they do not seem to need them. That's right, it is. If these three basic habits are built into you, you are confidently protected from most negative experiences and do not need psychological help.
Yes, you really don't need it. Tanks are not afraid of dirt. What worries and burdens others does not bother you: you solve problems as they come and calmly move on.
NEVER LOW HANDS.
I ALWAYS THINK.
ALWAYS AT WORK!
If you have not yet developed these habits, you need to move simultaneously in two directions: after all, master these habits and at the same time master the science of practical psychology. I can formulate this more sharply. Take your pick: either master these three simple skills, or you will spend your whole life dealing with your complex psychological problems.
Where does all this come from? No one will tell you exactly, I will share here what I personally came to after 30 years of researching this issue. Offhand, ten percent is what is determined by our physiology. Children are born different, people have character accentuations. The excitable type cannot cope with its impulsivity, the labile type is susceptible to moods, the psychasthenic is afraid of everything, the epileptoid himself scares everyone with his anger, changes in the hormonal background change the nature and type of emotional response.
The rest, that is, 90%, is set by upbringing and self-education. There are three main habits that give us control over our emotions, and it’s not hard for you to judge for yourself how much these habits are already yours.
The first habit is the habit of keeping a peppy format, and not getting upset and sour. This is what any army starts with when it accepts recruits: stand still, not lounging, turn your shoulders and not slouch, eyes on the commander, and do not wander around, listen to what they say, and not be distracted, answer what is supposed to, and not grumble or complain. The movements are clear and energetic, the eyes are attentive, the intonations are vigorous. When, after months of training, it will be inscribed in the body, the body will stop rattling and will begin to obey the owner. This is what creates a real base of self-control.
This is an extremely simple and absolutely clear sign: either a person owns his body and is used to controlling it, or not. If there is no physical control, psychological self-control is also impossible. You see a rattling in the body - you can't go wrong by assuming a person's impulsive reactions, mood swings and uncontrollable emotions. In this case, the body completely determines the characteristics of our behavior.
Hint: if you are not in the army, then dancing is the most useful thing at hand for the development of the bodily format. And, more broadly, sports!
The second habit is the habit of living not with feelings, but with your head. This is not about the fact that you should not have emotions, but the understanding that emotions should be your tool. It is rather a philosophy of life, these are your values and beliefs, according to which important issues should be resolved deliberately, calmly and reasonably, and not under the dictates of feelings. There are people who are not close, who call their impulsiveness spontaneity, who like living with feelings, and living reasonably is boring. This is their choice, but for this choice you have to pay with the fact that with such a philosophy of life it turns out to be difficult to control your feelings.
The third habit is the habit in any difficult situation to act constructively, and not give up. Anxious people sit back when things are good and suffer when problems arise. Active people live differently. If there are problems, active people turn on their heads and solve them. If the problems are solved and everything is in order, active people move forward towards goals. Which way of life is closer to you?
The more free time people have, which they do not know what to do, the more they are prone to depression. When you are busy, you have no time for worries, and the best way not to suffer unnecessary worries is to get busy. If you know what to do, do it. If you don't know, think. If you have to think for a long time, but the solution still does not come - take a rest, do other things for now, but sitting, doing nothing and worrying is the last thing.
In total, your habits and life principles are simple: I never give up, I always think, always in action. And - cheerfully forward!
Note: these habits are not at all psychological: they have no depth, no mystery, they are as simple as a stool. This is what surprised me most of all in successful businessmen: they do not know (and do not want to know) what it is to "accept what happened", "live here and now", "scooping up the pluses", keeping a "success diary" and other traditional psychological techniques for normalization of the internal state: they do not seem to need them. That's right, it is. If these three basic habits are built into you, you are confidently protected from most negative experiences and do not need psychological help.
Yes, you really don't need it. Tanks are not afraid of dirt. What worries and burdens others does not bother you: you solve problems as they come and calmly move on.
NEVER LOW HANDS.
I ALWAYS THINK.
ALWAYS AT WORK!
If you have not yet developed these habits, you need to move simultaneously in two directions: after all, master these habits and at the same time master the science of practical psychology. I can formulate this more sharply. Take your pick: either master these three simple skills, or you will spend your whole life dealing with your complex psychological problems.
