How the Voice Affects the Perception of True-False

[Teacher]

Salute! That is, the way we are seen is the impression that we get from our appearance, from how we are dressed, combed, what our posture and gait are. And, first of all, we, of course, care exactly about how we look: after all, "they are greeted by their clothes." And the voice, the way we speak, how we are heard, we often do not attach much importance to. Nevertheless, our voice paints a sound portrait of our personality for the people around us. Voice colors: timbre, pitch, intonation, rhythm, diction - all this adds up to a single picture that has a powerful effect on our image. As a rule, from the inside, from the “first position”, it is difficult to assess this influence.

But when we are not talking about ourselves, when we observe other people, the following is revealed: if what we see does not correspond to what we hear, we have a very unpleasant feeling of falsehood, conscious, but inept cheating. Moreover, it seems to us that it is the appearance that deceives, and the voice “betrays true intentions”. Moreover, at every step we are faced with the fact that the sound of the voice comes into conflict with the very content of speech.

For example: in words your interlocutor expresses confidence, but the voice sounds dull, diction is indistinct and the end of the phrase is quieter than its beginning…. We may not consciously fix these nuances, but it is they that give information to the subconscious: this is not true, he is not at all sure of what he is saying, he doubts, but is trying to pass the wishful thinking.

Or someone expresses sympathy for you, but for some reason you take his speech with hostility, it seems to you that this is a "run over", an accusation or an attempt to "press." But it's not a matter of words - it's the voice of the interlocutor that simulates the intonation of aggression, indignation: by the “melody” it resembles the sound of a motorbike starting up.

But the opposite situation: someone tells you things that are unprovable, doubtful, but there is something “captivating” in his voice, the voice sounds so sincere and convincing that you involuntarily believe every word. That is, if you analyze even your own communication experience, it becomes clear that the voice affects the image, personal perception, no less than the content of speech and appearance. And, in fact, much more: if the visible images and the logical component of speech are accepted by our consciousness, then the non-verbal components of the voice directly affect the subconscious, which, according to psychologists, occupies 95-97 percent in thought processes.

My voice is my enemy.​

So the voice doesn't lie? Does this mean that if we learn to hear and recognize vocal nuances, we can “scan” people to understand their true motives and intentions? To some extent, this is true. The discrepancy between the parameters of the voice and other factors (appearance, speech content) creates an "incongruence" in the image of a person, destroys his image, and undermines confidence in his words. And, possession of the skills of auditory calibration gives us the opportunity to judge with great certainty the state, mood, character and intentions of a person.

But. As practice shows, voice defects in most cases do not arise at all due to the fact that a person is deliberately lying: the trouble is that many of us simply do not have control of our own voice. This is the cause of a huge number of conflicts and damaged relationships, an obstacle to career growth and the development of other human abilities. Have you ever found yourself in an unpleasant situation when your words were misinterpreted, although the wording was thought out and correct?

"I just ask my daughter on the phone where she is now, and she told me," Mom, what happened ?! Why are you scaring me so much ?! "And so - every time! She says that she can hear panic in my voice. I would have decided that this daughter somehow perceives me in a special way, but similar complaints come from time to time from my patients (I am a doctor - cardiologist). I am very worried and do not know how to deal with it. "

"I recently got a leadership position. I was absolutely sure that I could handle it: I have enough experience, education, I am a good organizer. But I do not develop relationships with subordinates. Either my instructions are not perceived as directives, I , apparently, speak too much softly, in a friendly way, or something. Or, when I try to make my voice harder, people get offended, and normal cooperation does not work. But in my words there is neither familiarity, nor aggression - nothing personal, just working instructions. "

"I myself know that I speak softly, quickly and indistinctly, muttering, in general. And I understand that this can be annoying and definitely interferes with normal communication. By the way, I am practically sure that my voice is the reason that I still haven't gotten a promotion. It happens like this: in a general discussion I express an idea, and no one pays attention to it.But, literally, the next moment someone repeats the same thought, with the same words! everyone picks up - yes, great, that's what we need! "

Voice clips.​

Why is our own voice letting us down, disobeying, changing us so? Does it give out that we do not feel, which was not even in our thoughts, and the feelings that we would like to show - hide, distort the thoughts that we would like to express?

There are a variety of reasons why we “lose touch” with our voice.

These are social rules and conventions that give rise to voice clamps.

- jaw clamp - "good boys endure pain without screaming";
- clamping of the larynx - "good girls don't cry";
- lip clamp - "I want to speak, but I will not refrain";

This is the "noise sphere" of the city, so aggressive that our subconscious mind puts "protective filters". And hearing and voice are two sides of the same coin: hearing is blocked - the voice suffers.

These are social fears. First of all, the fear of responsibility for one's words: the fear of being heard and understood.

These are “gifts” of the family and social environment: “stuck” timbres and intonations that do not originally belong to us, but, for example, to mom or dad, a teenage get-together or even movie heroes. We are no longer children, but our voice continues to operate according to old patterns. We do not hear these intonations, do not notice in ourselves, and therefore do not control. With the same intonation (for example, the intonation of a complaint) we try to express a variety of feelings, changing the words every time, but in fact, only one emotion inherent in this intonation is transmitted. We ourselves do not put this emotion into our words, but our interlocutors react to it, and not to the logical component of our speech.

All of these clamps and old vocal patterns stand in the way of natural expression, distort our inner and outer image, hinder the formation of our image of a successful person and, ultimately, negatively affect our relationships with other people, both in personal life and in the work context. ...

Image of a successful person.​

And yet - this is the same voice that the "mother" uttered for the first time, and it was a holiday for you and for everyone around you. Before "building a voice image", it is necessary to open this primordial voice within oneself, the "raw voice", from which it will then be possible to fashion a beautiful work of art. Your natural voice is a reflection of your inner, original image, and by returning the natural sound of your voice, we regain our personal integrity, mental and physical health. This is a lot of work, but very enjoyable and rewarding!

Taking care of the image, first of all, we want to present ourselves in such a way that our every word reaches the goal.

For the image of a strong, confident person, our speech should have the following parameters:

1. Free, natural sounding, the ability to speak "in full voice";
2. Using a chest resonator;
3. Possession of the intonation of the affirmation;
4. Well-articulated, dictated speech.
5. Moderate speech rate.

Exercises for the voice.

1. Natural voice.​

Working with the voice on your own, without external feedback, is not easy. But there are still a few moments when you can "catch" your natural voice: when you laugh uncontrollably, or yawn, or moan, or sigh "from the depths of your soul." A voice set to breathe gains strength, volume, reliability, especially if you connect the diaphragm (the largest muscle in the body that separates the digestive organs from the respiratory organs) to the sounding process. While laughing, for example, place your hand on your upper abdomen and you will feel the diaphragm contract involuntarily, giving your voice a powerful boost, relieving stress on your vocal cords.

2. Breast resonator.​

If you press your hand to your chest during the sounded sigh, you can feel the vibration. Try to increase the feeling of vibration under the palm of your hand, prolonging the sound of your voice each time (do not be afraid to open your mouth wide). Thus, the resonator of the breast is "deafened" - the most important communicative resonator, which gives confidence to the voice and, at the same time, strength. And when sound is combined with breathing (sounded exhalation), it makes the voice "warm", natural, alive. Perhaps such a sound will be unexpected and even shocking for you: how, am I making such sounds ?! Yes you. Meet, get used - this is your voice!

Clamping of the larynx, lips and mandible is most likely to interfere with the full sound of the chest resonator. It is these clamps that "do not let" the voice into the body, do not allow it to acquire the volume, depth and velvety inherent in the lower resonators.

Do the following exercise:

Grasp your chin with your hand, "hang" your hand, like on a hook, so that your mouth opens only under the weight of your hand, and not the muscles of the jaw. On a long sounded exhalation, pronounce the syllables Ba, Va, Ga, and so on - alphabetically. Keep your other hand on your chest, increasing the vibration under the palm. The larynx is open in a half-yaw (for a start, you can yawn at full strength). The tongue (look in the mirror) lies loosely behind the teeth, the root is lowered, as if you were showing your throat to a doctor. At the same time, the mouth is extended in a vertical oval, and the lips are relaxed. Each syllable is pronounced with a sense of relief, as if you were saying: well, finally!

When this exercise becomes familiar and comfortable for you, take any text, underline all stressed vowels A and O in it, and read, stopping on these vowels, chanting them as in the previous exercise. Then move on to the rest of the vowels. Gradually, you will get used to such a melodious and voluminous speech and you will be able to use the breast resonator in a natural way, without specially controlling its sound.

3. The intonation of the affirmation gives your voice weight, your speech - significance.​

This intonation starts at a high pitch and ends at the lowest note your voice can make. Say a short sentence, “This is me,” so that “This” is high and “I” is low. Stressing the last word ("I"). You can make a small pause between words, this will help accentuate the stressed word. If you did everything right, then no one will doubt, you are YOU, and there can be no two opinions.

But in my experience, mistakes are often made in using this intonation.

For example:

- If at the end the voice does not drop low enough and unstressed, then the phrase sounds uncertain.

- If the voice does not drop low enough, but with a strong accent at the end, instead of confidence, your interlocutor will feel that he is being pressed, ordered, dictated, which will certainly cause a reaction of resistance.

- If the voice drops low, but at the very last moment rises slightly, it seems that you are not saying something.

- If the voice drops low, but after the accent continues to "go" down, this significantly softens the intonation, signals that you are ready to give in.

- If the voice gradually “moves out” from the upper to the lower tone, and does not “jump,” this is a completely different intonation, which, depending on the nuances, can mean different emotions: from a complaint to a collision.

Of course, the intonation of a statement is not the only one you need to master to be successful. But it is absolutely necessary for this purpose, and in many situations it is a real "magic wand". If you master this intonation, you can be sure that your words will always carry weight and be taken seriously.

It is very difficult to deal with intonations, the melody of speech, on your own. A voice recorder can help you with this: record yourself and listen to your speech carefully, as if you would like to transfer the modulations of your voice to paper, using notes or a graph.

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4. A dictated, well-articulated speech is necessary so that our interlocutors or listeners hear and understand what we are saying to them. Why, in the absence of obvious speech defects, do we so often "swallow" words, do not say the endings, mumble consonants, and pronounce vowels so that they do not look like themselves?​

Bad diction is another clamp generated by social fear - the fear of being heard and understood!

How many people in your life have you met with excellent diction? I think no. And I would venture to suggest that these people had one common quality: self-confidence, conviction in their words. The speech of such a person broadcasts the following signal: “I respect myself and I am responsible for my words; I respect others so much that I speak clearly, without forcing the interlocutor to listen and ask again."

Even a very quiet, but clear speech gives the impression of meaningful and confident, attracts the attention of listeners, convinces to take seriously the meaning of what is being said.

As a self-exercise, devote at least fifteen minutes a day to keeping track of the clear sounding of every letter of every word you say. For self-control, you can use a voice recorder.

5. Moderate speech rate.​

For some reason, it seems to us that the faster we speak, the more information we squeeze into a unit of time, the better our speech will achieve its goal. Fast speech inevitably leads to a rise in tone of voice, and these two factors together give the effect of fussiness, emotional instability.

Confident, "weighty" speech is a rather slow speech, with meaningful logical pauses. But speech cannot be slowed down only by pauses: in this case, the speech stream will be ragged and difficult to perceive. The slow tempo is achieved, first of all, by the chanting of the vowels: such speech not only creates feelings of calm and solidity, it is also melodic, it is pleasant to listen to it. And if we maintain a moderate tempo of speech in a crisis situation, we will be able, thanks to this, not only to maintain our own stable state, but we will instill this calmness in the people around us.

Improving your own voice and, thus, forming the image of a confident, successful person, very soon you will feel how your relationships with other people and your inner state are changing, as if adjusting to the image that you have created. This is the "law of reverse reaction": physical and mental factors mutually influence each other, like two nuclei on the same circuit.

Voice control is the key to creating the image you want, a tool for productive communication, the cement for creating lasting, balanced relationships.