? Foot in the door. How do I stop the manipulator?

[Lord777]

This technique, it is called “Foot in the door”, is one of the most successful manipulators in the arsenal. He uses our truly valuable traits: kindness, willingness to help, and sometimes to give the last. Disgusting reception, in general. Let's figure out how to recognize it and not let yourself be used.

The essence of manipulation is this: one day you are asked for a favor. You respond and naturally feel yourself needed, significant, kind person. Ready! Can't you help the petitioner next time? Even if the request will be many times more burdensome for you (this is what it will be).

Getting off the needle of social responsibility and the need to maintain your self-esteem in a responsive person is difficult. But probably. For example, using the "spoiled plate" method:

- Only you, with your skills, can help now.
- Sorry, I'm busy today.
- I have no one else to count on ...
- Sorry, I'm busy today.
- What should I do? I was hoping for you!
- Sorry, I'm busy today.

Nuance: you need to pronounce this phrase in the tone of a worn-out record, without a hint of irritation. The manipulator immediately counts any emotion in your voice and begins to put pressure on the feeling of guilt.

The main thing here is not to forget that they are trying to use you. The good news: as soon as the manipulator realizes that there is nothing more to catch, he will leave to look for a victim less savvy in the art of dialogue.

 

[Teacher]

5 manipulator phrases
Salute, fans of carding someone else's account, here are 5 phrases of manipulators that can drive anyone crazy.

1. You exaggerate everything
Of course, we all sometimes attach too much importance to trifles.
However, with manipulators, it turns out that in fact you are always right.
Manipulators will deliberately do things that will make you feel paranoid.
For example, flirt with your ex in front of everyone, and then they will tell you that you imagined it and don't make a big deal out of it.
And in a month it will turn out that it was with this ex that you were cheated on.

The purpose of the manipulator is to make you doubt your own intuition and feel like a damn detective.
They will constantly throw hints at you to make you feel anxious, and then they will blame you for it.

2. I hate drama
And at the same time, it is around manipulators that dramas are constantly played out.
At first they will praise you and your wonderful character, but very soon they will get tired of it. Manipulators are pathological liars, serial scammers, and perpetual victims.
Manipulators deliberately set up provocations and, when you react, accuse you of causing the drama they hate so much.
You will feel guilty for reacting to their disgusting behavior.

3. You're too sensitive
The task of the manipulator is to provoke you to emotions.
First, they will praise you and sing your praises, and then suddenly they will turn on hard ignore without warning or reason and wait for your reaction. And when you react, they will accuse you of being too sensitive or demanding.
They will insult, belittle, and criticize you (usually as if in jest, teasing), pushing your personal boundaries until you are outraged.
And for your reaction, they will accuse you of insanity. Manipulators can make a person defenseless and insecure – for this they only need time.

4. You misunderstood me
Of course, in any couple there are misunderstandings and mistakes.
But manipulators deliberately arrange provocations.
And when you react, they turn everything upside down and accuse you of getting it all wrong.
Often they even deny that they said anything.
This is called "gaslighting" – when you deliberately say or do something in order to then accuse others of misunderstanding (or completely deny that what they said or did took place at all).
In fact, you got it right.
They're just trying to make you doubt your sanity.

5. You're out of your mind/drunk/jealous/crazy about me, etc.
Labeling is the manipulator's favorite tool.
According to their data, all their colleagues, former lovers, friends are either crazy, alcoholics,or jealous and God knows who else.
Don't hesitate - a label is also ready for you. You will become just another in the endless cycle of idealization and devaluation that every unfortunate person who gets in their way falls into.

The only way to get out of this destructive relationship is to stop all contact.
No messages, calls, emails, or friendships in social networks.
Otherwise, you can be sure that they will do everything possible and impossible to drive you crazy.

The good news is that if a manipulator tries to make you doubt your intuition, it means that it creates problems for them.
Manipulators try to psychologically destroy everyone who can threaten their illusion of normal life.
So when they start playing mind games with you, consider that you have correctly noticed that something is wrong with them.