Face the Truth: Questions to Ask Yourself.

[Brother]

Am I ready to face the truth?

Janet Conner, in her book Writing Down Your Soul: How to Activate and Listen to the Extraordinary Voice Within, provides examples of 4 types of non-constructive question formats for diary writers to themselves and the World.

She writes that “closed questions” (those that can be answered with “yes” or “no”) are best addressed to yourself, for example, “Am I ready to face the truth?” or "Do I really want to become a more empathic, compassionate person?"

Any answer to one of these questions is an invitation to dig deeper. When addressed to the World (whatever you call it), “closed” questions are much less effective for understanding your life and destiny.

People very often ask the question "why", in the sense of "what is the reason for this or that event or experience in my life." “Why did this happen to me? .. ”This is not the most constructive question for self-knowledge, although it is common. There is no guarantee that the cause will be found at all; there is no guarantee that it will be possible to find the "only correct", true reason; and even if it succeeds, there is no guarantee that knowing this reason will help a person change his life in the desired direction.

Most often, the "reasons" for our choices and states are the actions of other people in the past, which we cannot influence from the "now". In various psychotherapeutic traditions, the question “why” is considered not the best possible one (in particular, also because it often evokes associations from childhood with “Why did you do this?!” - and the desire to justify and defend yourself). However, in the form of "why is it important" this question takes on a completely different shade and meaning. It becomes a question about values and meanings: "Why was it important for you to act this way in that situation and not otherwise?" In this form, it turns out to be quite recognized.

Another type of question that Conner considers unconstructive for self-knowledge is the question of timing: "When will the desired happen in my life, or will the undesirable stop happening?" A more constructive version of this question is: "How do I need to change / what do I need to start doing differently so that the desired happens in my life or the undesirable stops happening?"

The last type of non-constructive questions for Conner is questions about another person. When we keep a diary, especially when written practices become for us a form of spiritual practice, it makes sense to write about ourselves - about our experiences, about their meanings, about our own development. Writing in order to somehow influence the behavior of another person is not effective. The behavior of another person may change after our own behavior changes - due to the change in the course of written practices of self-understanding.

Constructive questions

Conner began collecting effective, "working", constructive questions that could be used for written self-exploration in her day, and she has over 200 such questions in her collection. They fall into five main categories.

1. Questions that support the development of mindfulness. For example:
“Where do I feel like I'm stuck in my movement? What's stopping me? "
“What is the first thing I need to deal with now? What decisions need to be made? "
"What conditions do I need to make the right decision?"
"How do I feel about how I feel about what is happening?"
"What am I turning away from, hoping that it will somehow disappear from my life by itself?"
"What do I need to be more in tune with myself?"
"What parts of me want to be heard right now?"
"What moments during the day do I feel the happiest?"
“What is stealing my energy from me? Where is my energy lost? "
"What is the most important thing for me to learn now?"
“What changes are coming in my life? How do I recognize them? "
“What 'product' are my worries and concerns producing? What do they bring to different areas of my life? "

Face the Truth: Questions That Work for You

2. Questions that support the development of understanding and meaning. For example:
“What decisions have brought me to the point where I am now? What alternatives have I given up? "
"What am I doing to take my mind off the important things?"
"What strength and ability do I need to be more honest with myself and others?"
"What are my beliefs formed the basis of this decision, this act?"
"With what thoughts, words and actions do I undermine my own efforts, how do I sabotage my movement towards dreams, my desire to act in accordance with my values?"
"What has prevented me from doing what is really important to me so far?"
"What is pushing my buttons" that triggers automatic behavioral patterns in me that I would like to change? "
"In what tone and with what words do I speak to myself?"
“Which of the things I do in my daily life and at work do I feel“ compelled ”to do? How is this subjectively different for me from what I really want to do? "

3. Questions that contribute to deep self-understanding. For example:
“What sides of mine I don't want to accept? What would be different if I could accept them? "
“Why do I hide my head in the sand, like an ostrich? What life experiences and experiences do I avoid? How much time of my life do I spend "in the pose of an ostrich"? "
“What am I doing 'on autopilot', reproducing a behavior pattern that I don't particularly like? How does this pattern of my behavior affect the people around me? "
“Do I have a habitual mask - an inert form of self-presentation and communication? Or not one? "
"What am I most afraid of deep down?"
“What is my calling? What do I do in those moments when I feel myself - in the highest and best sense? "
"At what moments do I experience inner wholeness?"
“Does my self-presentation, my outer environment reflect my inner world? How much, how? "
"What can I do to make my life more love?"
“How can I regain my strength? What will be the price of this? "
“What is the innermost desire of my heart? How did it come about? "
"The answer to what question am I most afraid to find out now?"

4. Questions contributing to the envisioning and maturation of a preferred future. For example:
"What prevents me from dreaming?"
"How do I recognize unusual, perhaps grandiose, but, nevertheless, real opportunities?"
“How would my life look and feel from the inside if what I want and what I dream about came true?”
"What would I be doing if nothing limited me at all?"
"What mark would I like to leave on the world?"
"What can I do so that the best of the contents of my inner world is embodied in the outer world?"
“Do I believe that I can change my life, can I somehow change the world? How do I know this? "
"What do I need to do and how to manifest in the world what I aspire to?"

5. Questions supporting manifestation, creation of a preferred future. For example:
“What is most important now? What do I need to ask now? "
"Where do I need to start moving towards my preferred future?"
"What can keep me going in my preferred direction?"
"What is the smallest change I can make right now?"
"What do I need to let go of, what do I need to free myself from in order to be able to live the way I want?"
"How can I feel calmer, despite the uncertainty of the future?"
“What is in the gap between how things are now and what I want? How can I bridge this gap?
"What needs to be done today?"