In the case of serious, annoying mistakes, all the more that entailed irreversible and painful consequences, many people begin to torment fruitless experiences: "Well, I didn't think? Why didn't I foresee? How could I ..." and so on.
Experiences of this kind, turning into self-criticism, interfere more than help, and it makes sense to switch oneself from these experiences to something more constructive.
Exercise "Mistake!" - develops the ability to calmly, without internal aggression, to relate to their accidental mistakes.
For those who are drawn to worry, the "Mistake" exercise plays the role of a psychotherapeutic ritual in which a simple text is combined with three simple gestures.
At the stage of mastering the ritual, gestures should be real, external gestures, and after the stage of mastering, in the practice of use, imaginary, internal gestures are usually used.
It is very useful to do real gestures, but in front of others you can look too stupid. Therefore, real gestures can be done either next to those who will understand and support you, or you can make these gestures in your imagination.
But start practicing it - with real gestures, just choose a time and place when no one is around.
So, if you forgot something, missed it and screwed up; confused, did not notice and got lost; could not stand it, broke loose and did the devil knows what; said something wrong, wrong or wrong, or just didn't say what was needed, in short, made a mistake, then -
1. Handles to the sides and say to yourself: "Mistake!" In more detail: tilt the head to the side, convincingly spread the legs to the sides (you get such a peculiar gesture of Goonies).
While in this position, say: "Mistake!" (with the intonation: "Anything can happen!"). Do it like a child: funny, pretty and frivolous, exhaling and relaxed.
What is the meaning of this action? The fact is that any mistake for an experiencing personality seems to be a boundless catastrophe "Horror-horror-horror", there is an inadequate exaggeration.
To remove this exaggeration, you need to make the same drastic understatement.
Goonies gesture diminishes the significance of what is happening.
You understand that this is Horror, but not Horror-horror-horror.
2. Cross your arms on your chest, gently and carefully hug yourself by the shoulders and say to yourself: "I'm good!".
This is the meaning, the specific wording may be different. For example, one of the distant girls supports herself like this: "I thought it up myself, I will now praise myself: Oh, what a clever, clever, clever girl!" She likes it and it inspires her, so it's right!
One way or another, it is important to transfer yourself from negative to positive. When a person makes a mistake, he feels "bad": he begins to scold himself inside, discord arises in his head and soul.
And in this state, as a rule, even more nonsense and nasty things come from him.
Therefore, it is important to calm yourself down in order to return to a normal sane state.
To do this, you need to hug yourself, calm yourself down and say: "I'm good!"
Such a simple phrase, but it works wonders! Actually, people swear most often when they lose the feeling "I am good" - and they defend themselves by swearing.
And you hug your beloved wife, tell her: “What a good you are with me!” - she stops cursing.
3. You feel good. But this exercise is not over, you have come to its most important stage. Therefore, the third gesture: an energetic working palm forward and a short phrase: "Work!"
This is constructive. We carried out psychotherapy, turned on the "I'm good" state, it's time to get involved in the work, to correct the consequences of the mistake.
When you are engaged in business, then everything that is right in the soul happens by itself, there is no time for empty experiences.
Do I need to remember what happened? There is no single answer.
If the error is small and random, it is best to simply put it out of your head.
If the error is very serious and, moreover, it can repeat itself - make sure that it does not repeat itself.
Remember, write down, make a record in the heart with a hot iron - all according to the circumstances and within the framework of common sense. You do not need self-flagellation, and the issue should be reliably resolved for the future.
Observation: these three steps (Mistake, I'm good, Work!) In a complete set are needed primarily by women. For men, the last instruction is usually enough: "Work!"
How to Master the Mistake Exercise
1. Begin by taking note of all the mistakes you make during the day and writing down your inner text that accompanies it.
For what?
First, you just need a number:
1 mistake a day?
5 mistakes a day?
50?
Sometimes it may seem to you that you make mistakes all the time, from morning to evening, but in reality, when you start writing down, you will have only 7 mistakes.
And this is normal, not much at all.
Secondly, you develop attention to your own behavior, and this is important.
Third, you will be able to understand which situations are more likely to cause you errors. Thinking over this, you can remove some of the errors.
Fourth, when you know your inner text, you can change it more easily.
2. Select the day when you will master the exercise "Mistake".
Attention: this should not be the most difficult day, on this day you should be able to distract yourself with this exercise.
Wish - let there be rather benevolent people next to you who will remind you of the "Mistake" exercise and will not be surprised if you make these funny gestures with your hands.
And it's better to start doing the exercise directly with gestures.
On the chosen day, set yourself a task: to wait for your mistakes, so that you can immediately, clearly, exactly at the moment of the mistake, make the necessary gestures and say the required text.
It is important to perform the exercise exactly at the moment of error, and for this, watch your mistakes - wait.
How would you like them to happen ... - although, of course, there is no need to make them on purpose.
3. When the exercise "Mistake" has already begun to help you, be sure to tell about your successes to one of your friends, to whom it may also be useful.
Give this gift to a good person!
And when you tell it, you will consolidate this exercise for yourself.
