Lord777
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Let us, colleagues, discuss such a human trait as the desire to do everything perfectly. There are people in whom this trait is very pronounced. These people try to do absolutely everything perfectly. There is even a special name for such people: perfectionists.
It is customary to admire perfectionists and set them up as an example. But I'm going to prove that whoever tries to do everything perfectly is, in essence, just a loser. Or, speaking in Russian, a loser.
I have no purpose to stigmatize someone. I will say more, some time ago I myself was a perfectionist. Now, fortunately, I have successfully recovered from this disease. But there are a lot of memories left. I also want to share them.
I'll start, as usual, with examples.
Imagine the head of a family who is about to make a renovation. The plans are Napoleonic. We put double-glazed windows everywhere. We level the floors. We change all the plumbing. Furniture - made of mahogany to order, exactly the size of the rooms. And we put the tiles in the bathroom with our own hands, so that they are not less than thirty years old.
The plans, I repeat, are Napoleonic. And even the hands of the head of the family are "golden" - everything can and can do everything. But, alas, not a lot of money and time. Therefore, the repair begins and ... gets up. We are waiting for the salary. We are waiting for the vacation. We are waiting for the rush to end at work.
I know people who began repairs back in the days of the USSR, and still have not finished it. The question is. Why did it happen? Why did the renovation take decades?
The answer is simple. The head of the family was wrong. The head of the family thought he had a choice: a perfect renovation or a modest renovation. In fact, the choice was different. Or a modest renovation or none. There was no choice of "perfect renovation".
Farther. Imagine a girl waiting for a prince. And all come across some kind of freaks. One has nose hair growing out. The other one works at McDonald's. The third lisps. The fourth has dandruff. And the fifth has a stupid habit of scratching his ass when no one sees him. In short, everyone has some problems. Princes, however, also appear on the horizon, but for some reason they are not interested in our girl.
And now a year, five, ten years passes. The girl is thirty. Hopes for a prince are gradually dwindling. Why did it happen?
It's very simple. The girl thought she had a choice: marry a prince or marry an ordinary person. In fact, the choice, again, was different: to marry an ordinary person, or blue stockings and a castrated cat on his lap.
Another example. Two students are going to go meet girls. One of them says: “I probably won't go today. Imagine - we will meet the girls. You will need to lead to the restaurant. And I have no money, no suit, no car. I'll make some money ... ”.
Finally, a classic portrait of a young businessman. A story from life, by the way. Somehow one student comes to me for advice, and something like this conversation takes place between us:
Aspiring businessman: I want to start my own business. Fitness center and gym.
Fritz: Of course, open it, I'll be the first customer.
NB: I thought I was about $ 30,000 to start with.
Fritz: Do you have $ 30,000?
NB: Not yet. I think that's where to get it.
Fritz: And if something more modest? Exercise machines are cheaper, some basement?
NB: No, these will be lousy simulators. Used. And I want the newest and the best ...
As you may have guessed, this young man did not reveal anything. As far as I know, he still works as a rigger and is trying to accumulate the "necessary" $ 30,000. Because this young man was wrong. He thought he had a choice: open a fitness center with new machines or open a fitness center with old machines. And he had a different choice: to open a very modest fitness center or not to open any at all.
There are a great many such examples. The perfectionist tries to do the impossible over and over again and fails. And even the perfectionists themselves understand this! But they continue to jump hard, trying to break the world record.
But what about Bilan's song "The Impossible is Possible", you ask? After all, you need to reach up to achieve at least something!
I will answer. Indeed, you need to reach up. But you also need to calculate your strength. Goals must be achievable. Only then, step by step, will it be possible to achieve the desired perfection. A well renovated apartment, for example.
Let's imagine that we need to move a ton of bricks from place to place using a wheelbarrow. How can I do that? Answer: you need to take a wheelbarrow, load a hundred kilograms into it and drive it. What happens if we try to immediately load a ton of bricks into the wheelbarrow? And nothing will happen. Or they won't fit, or the car will break down.
Why are perfectionists so eager to make everything perfect? They're stepping on the same rake over and over again! They try to load a ton of bricks into the wheelbarrow, and then, clenching their jaws, look at the broken wheelbarrow.
The roots of this phenomenon lie, as usual, in childhood. The fact is that many children are punished for mistakes. And they drum into their heads that doing everything perfectly is the only way to live. Get one A's. Do not be mistaken in dictations. Speak English immediately without mistakes, yes.
By the way, a lyrical digression. When I was in school, children were taught something like this: “Speak, little dumbass, right away. Start speaking, misrepresenting words - and that's it, mistakes will remain forever. "And a foreign language is such a thing - in order to speak without mistakes, you must first master it perfectly. Well, in order to master it perfectly, you first need to talk for some time. With mistakes.
You see, a vicious circle. And children fell into this circle. Therefore, most of the children who studied in Soviet schools never know how to speak English. Texts with grief can be translated in half. To isolate familiar words from a song - too, with a scratch, but capable. But to say a few phrases - no longer. Psychological barrier.
The key word here is immediately. If the children were told, “speak as you can, we will correct mistakes later,” everything would be fine. But the word "immediately" made the children dumb. Nothing happens right away.
Okay, let's continue. What's so terrible about trying to avoid mistakes? The scary thing is that people learn from mistakes. And any road to great deeds is downright littered with mistakes. Errors are not a side effect that can be avoided. This is the very essence of any action. Errors are the wand of the blind, with which he probes the surroundings. Those steps along which the monk climbs to the top of the mountain. We are mistaken and understand where we need to go. And if we are not mistaken, we will stay where we are.
Roughly speaking, only the one who does nothing is not mistaken. Perfectionists don't do anything. They only splash sour saliva when they see other people's mistakes. Their anger is understandable: they themselves are losers. And it is very disappointing to see how someone succeeds by making mistakes. In this, the losers see a universal injustice: why are they not who are so knowledgeable and accurate who achieve success? Such ... unmistakable.
The explanation is simple. Perfectionists don't succeed because they don't do anything. Or, as an option, they do little.
OK. What will be the moral? We are often faced with a choice. Do something lousy, or do nothing at all. So: the path of "doing nothing" is the path of a loser. It's just that the loser disguises himself, the loser says to himself: "I will do it perfectly." But "I will do it perfectly" is translated in this case as "I will not do anything."
Example. We're going to write a book. We are writing the first page. It turns out so-so. Redoing. Again, so-so text. We rewrite for the third time and decide that we need to read Schopenhauer in the original in order to better understand the topic. We sit down to translate Schopenhauer ... Six months pass. Five pages written. And then we realize that five pages will not be enough for a book! A heavy sigh emanates from his chest, the manuscript is deposited in a distant directory.
And here's the right decision. We are writing the first page. It turns out so-so. We are writing the second page. Again it turns out so-so. We are writing the third page. We continue to write with the same average quality until our book is ready. And only after the book is ready, we begin to "bring it to perfection." But even then we do not shake over the manuscript, as over a thousand-year-old manuscript, we do not lick every letter, but immediately prepare for publishing.
Will we get a barrage of valuable criticism from critics? Yes, we will. This is the price of success. We will receive a portion of the negative, partially take note of it, and our next book will be better. But let's think for a second: who are the critics? Critics are also writers. Only these are cowardly writers, writers who were afraid to make mistakes. Writers who have five ideal pages in their store.
Churchill liked to repeat: "Success is a movement from failure to failure with growing enthusiasm." Do you think he was joking? Maybe he was joking, I don't know. But in life, this is exactly how everything is arranged. The road to success is through mistakes.
Let's finally discuss the great footballers and other athletes. Who strive to do everything perfectly. What about them, you ask?
Very simple. They were not afraid to make mistakes and fall. Great athletes have achieved perfection after committing their thousand mistakes. Plushenko hasn't sat on the stove for twenty years and hasn't studied skate literature. Plushenko followed the path of experience and mistakes. And it was this path that made Plushenko an Olympic champion.
Bottom line. The main problem with perfectionists is that they are afraid of mistakes. Because of this, they constantly do two stupid things: they try to jump over the necessary stage of imperfection and spend time "licking" secondary places. All of this together makes perfectionists losers.
Author: Fritz Morgen
It is customary to admire perfectionists and set them up as an example. But I'm going to prove that whoever tries to do everything perfectly is, in essence, just a loser. Or, speaking in Russian, a loser.
I have no purpose to stigmatize someone. I will say more, some time ago I myself was a perfectionist. Now, fortunately, I have successfully recovered from this disease. But there are a lot of memories left. I also want to share them.
I'll start, as usual, with examples.
Imagine the head of a family who is about to make a renovation. The plans are Napoleonic. We put double-glazed windows everywhere. We level the floors. We change all the plumbing. Furniture - made of mahogany to order, exactly the size of the rooms. And we put the tiles in the bathroom with our own hands, so that they are not less than thirty years old.
The plans, I repeat, are Napoleonic. And even the hands of the head of the family are "golden" - everything can and can do everything. But, alas, not a lot of money and time. Therefore, the repair begins and ... gets up. We are waiting for the salary. We are waiting for the vacation. We are waiting for the rush to end at work.
I know people who began repairs back in the days of the USSR, and still have not finished it. The question is. Why did it happen? Why did the renovation take decades?
The answer is simple. The head of the family was wrong. The head of the family thought he had a choice: a perfect renovation or a modest renovation. In fact, the choice was different. Or a modest renovation or none. There was no choice of "perfect renovation".
Farther. Imagine a girl waiting for a prince. And all come across some kind of freaks. One has nose hair growing out. The other one works at McDonald's. The third lisps. The fourth has dandruff. And the fifth has a stupid habit of scratching his ass when no one sees him. In short, everyone has some problems. Princes, however, also appear on the horizon, but for some reason they are not interested in our girl.
And now a year, five, ten years passes. The girl is thirty. Hopes for a prince are gradually dwindling. Why did it happen?
It's very simple. The girl thought she had a choice: marry a prince or marry an ordinary person. In fact, the choice, again, was different: to marry an ordinary person, or blue stockings and a castrated cat on his lap.
Another example. Two students are going to go meet girls. One of them says: “I probably won't go today. Imagine - we will meet the girls. You will need to lead to the restaurant. And I have no money, no suit, no car. I'll make some money ... ”.
Finally, a classic portrait of a young businessman. A story from life, by the way. Somehow one student comes to me for advice, and something like this conversation takes place between us:
Aspiring businessman: I want to start my own business. Fitness center and gym.
Fritz: Of course, open it, I'll be the first customer.
NB: I thought I was about $ 30,000 to start with.
Fritz: Do you have $ 30,000?
NB: Not yet. I think that's where to get it.
Fritz: And if something more modest? Exercise machines are cheaper, some basement?
NB: No, these will be lousy simulators. Used. And I want the newest and the best ...
As you may have guessed, this young man did not reveal anything. As far as I know, he still works as a rigger and is trying to accumulate the "necessary" $ 30,000. Because this young man was wrong. He thought he had a choice: open a fitness center with new machines or open a fitness center with old machines. And he had a different choice: to open a very modest fitness center or not to open any at all.
There are a great many such examples. The perfectionist tries to do the impossible over and over again and fails. And even the perfectionists themselves understand this! But they continue to jump hard, trying to break the world record.
But what about Bilan's song "The Impossible is Possible", you ask? After all, you need to reach up to achieve at least something!
I will answer. Indeed, you need to reach up. But you also need to calculate your strength. Goals must be achievable. Only then, step by step, will it be possible to achieve the desired perfection. A well renovated apartment, for example.
Let's imagine that we need to move a ton of bricks from place to place using a wheelbarrow. How can I do that? Answer: you need to take a wheelbarrow, load a hundred kilograms into it and drive it. What happens if we try to immediately load a ton of bricks into the wheelbarrow? And nothing will happen. Or they won't fit, or the car will break down.
Why are perfectionists so eager to make everything perfect? They're stepping on the same rake over and over again! They try to load a ton of bricks into the wheelbarrow, and then, clenching their jaws, look at the broken wheelbarrow.
The roots of this phenomenon lie, as usual, in childhood. The fact is that many children are punished for mistakes. And they drum into their heads that doing everything perfectly is the only way to live. Get one A's. Do not be mistaken in dictations. Speak English immediately without mistakes, yes.
By the way, a lyrical digression. When I was in school, children were taught something like this: “Speak, little dumbass, right away. Start speaking, misrepresenting words - and that's it, mistakes will remain forever. "And a foreign language is such a thing - in order to speak without mistakes, you must first master it perfectly. Well, in order to master it perfectly, you first need to talk for some time. With mistakes.
You see, a vicious circle. And children fell into this circle. Therefore, most of the children who studied in Soviet schools never know how to speak English. Texts with grief can be translated in half. To isolate familiar words from a song - too, with a scratch, but capable. But to say a few phrases - no longer. Psychological barrier.
The key word here is immediately. If the children were told, “speak as you can, we will correct mistakes later,” everything would be fine. But the word "immediately" made the children dumb. Nothing happens right away.
Okay, let's continue. What's so terrible about trying to avoid mistakes? The scary thing is that people learn from mistakes. And any road to great deeds is downright littered with mistakes. Errors are not a side effect that can be avoided. This is the very essence of any action. Errors are the wand of the blind, with which he probes the surroundings. Those steps along which the monk climbs to the top of the mountain. We are mistaken and understand where we need to go. And if we are not mistaken, we will stay where we are.
Roughly speaking, only the one who does nothing is not mistaken. Perfectionists don't do anything. They only splash sour saliva when they see other people's mistakes. Their anger is understandable: they themselves are losers. And it is very disappointing to see how someone succeeds by making mistakes. In this, the losers see a universal injustice: why are they not who are so knowledgeable and accurate who achieve success? Such ... unmistakable.
The explanation is simple. Perfectionists don't succeed because they don't do anything. Or, as an option, they do little.
OK. What will be the moral? We are often faced with a choice. Do something lousy, or do nothing at all. So: the path of "doing nothing" is the path of a loser. It's just that the loser disguises himself, the loser says to himself: "I will do it perfectly." But "I will do it perfectly" is translated in this case as "I will not do anything."
Example. We're going to write a book. We are writing the first page. It turns out so-so. Redoing. Again, so-so text. We rewrite for the third time and decide that we need to read Schopenhauer in the original in order to better understand the topic. We sit down to translate Schopenhauer ... Six months pass. Five pages written. And then we realize that five pages will not be enough for a book! A heavy sigh emanates from his chest, the manuscript is deposited in a distant directory.
And here's the right decision. We are writing the first page. It turns out so-so. We are writing the second page. Again it turns out so-so. We are writing the third page. We continue to write with the same average quality until our book is ready. And only after the book is ready, we begin to "bring it to perfection." But even then we do not shake over the manuscript, as over a thousand-year-old manuscript, we do not lick every letter, but immediately prepare for publishing.
Will we get a barrage of valuable criticism from critics? Yes, we will. This is the price of success. We will receive a portion of the negative, partially take note of it, and our next book will be better. But let's think for a second: who are the critics? Critics are also writers. Only these are cowardly writers, writers who were afraid to make mistakes. Writers who have five ideal pages in their store.
Churchill liked to repeat: "Success is a movement from failure to failure with growing enthusiasm." Do you think he was joking? Maybe he was joking, I don't know. But in life, this is exactly how everything is arranged. The road to success is through mistakes.
Let's finally discuss the great footballers and other athletes. Who strive to do everything perfectly. What about them, you ask?
Very simple. They were not afraid to make mistakes and fall. Great athletes have achieved perfection after committing their thousand mistakes. Plushenko hasn't sat on the stove for twenty years and hasn't studied skate literature. Plushenko followed the path of experience and mistakes. And it was this path that made Plushenko an Olympic champion.
Bottom line. The main problem with perfectionists is that they are afraid of mistakes. Because of this, they constantly do two stupid things: they try to jump over the necessary stage of imperfection and spend time "licking" secondary places. All of this together makes perfectionists losers.
Author: Fritz Morgen
