Salute, those who like to break someone else's account, we will be less worried about what others think of us if we understand how rarely they think of us at all.
"The most unhappy people in this world are the ones who worry the most about what others think of them."
"What's wrong with wanting to please others?" Today I want to discuss why it is unreasonable to try to please everyone and how to resist it.
Seeking approval from others is great until you endanger your health and happiness. This becomes a serious problem if you begin to feel that the widespread approval of others is the only thing you live for. There was a time in my life when I felt the same way.
I literally felt I needed a breath - as if I could die if people didn't approve of me. This is a condition that developed in me when I was young, after the kids in elementary school teased me as a "nerd." I did everything I could to get their approval. Although I grew out of my difficult age quite early, the damage was done - I was left with a sense of insecurity. All the time I was striving for someone else's approval and begged for it.
The big problem was that, as an economically active college graduate in his twenties, I felt that whatever and whenever I did or thought about anything, it was reasonable only if it was "right." And by "right" I meant only "what other people think is right." I was afraid to go beyond acceptability: it was especially detrimental to my creativity as I tried to develop my passion for writing and blogging.
Once I realized what I was doing, I read several books, talked to a trainer and diligently focused on correcting this trait of mine.
The main point is that the constant search for approval forces you to miss out on the beauty of just being yourself with your own unique ideas and desires. If you live your whole life doing only what is expected of you, then in a sense, you stop living.
So how can you stop being afraid of what others think? Let's watch.
Some problems in life must remain unresolved, such as not knowing what people think of you. The way people perceive you, in any case, should worry them more than you. They may like you or not like you just because you remind them of someone from the past who they liked or disliked and this has absolutely nothing to do with you.
So here is a new mantra for you, repeat it over and over again: "This is my life, my choice, my mistakes and my experience. As long as I do not offend people, I should not worry about what they think of me."
Forget what anyone else thinks about you, maybe they don't think about you at all. If you felt everything that they feel, you would understand that the feeling that they are looking at you and criticizing your every move is a pure figment of your imagination. It is your own inner fears that create this illusion. The problem is how you evaluate yourself.
If someone forms an opinion about you based on what lies on the surface, they themselves must correct it based on a more objective and rational point of view. Give them the opportunity to worry about it if they have an opinion at all.
Key Point: What other people think of you is their problem, not yours. The less you care what they think of you, the easier your life will become.
It doesn't matter how others see you. The most important thing is how you see yourself. When you make an important decision, remember: what you think of yourself and your life is more important than what others think of you. Stay true to YOURSELF. Never be ashamed to do what you think is right. Decide for yourself that what you think is right and stick to it.
It's human nature to strive to imitate other people we respect, such as parents or celebrities, especially when we feel insecure about our own skin. But trying to be someone else will always leave a feeling of inner emptiness. Why? Because what we value in people we admire is their personality, a quality that makes them unique. To copy them, it is necessary to develop our own personality, but in this way we will be less like them and more like ourselves.
We all have personalities and unique perspectives. The more relaxed you become in your identity, the more relaxed you will begin to feel just being YOURSELF. Rejoice at the opportunity to be different, to follow a path different from the beaten track. If you feel like a fish pulled out of water, by all means, find a new river to swim. But don't change yourself. Be who you are.
Enough! Forget for a moment that you don't want to feel. Decide right now what you REALLY want to feel in the present moment. Learn to live in the here and now, not regretting that someone once condemned you and not fearing the possibility of future condemnation.
If one day you had to give your mom CPR in public, you would be 100% focused on it. You wouldn't think about what eyewitnesses think about your hair, your body type, or the brand of jeans you are wearing. All these insignificant details would disappear from your consciousness. The tension of the situation would make you stop caring about what others might think of you. This clearly proves that thinking about what others will think is your own CHOICE.
Think about it. Why be a cheater?
Ultimately, the truth usually reveals itself one way or another, and when that happens, if you have lived a double life, you will be left alone. So start living the truth right now. If someone makes your life difficult and says, “you have changed,” that is not a bad thing. It simply means that you have stopped living your life in someone else's way. Don't apologize for this. Instead, be open and sincere, explain how you feel, and keep doing what you feel is right in your heart.
Afterword
A life of continually spent pleasing people who may be incapable of showing sympathy, or trying too hard to always do the “right thing” is a sure way to a regretful existence.
Do more than just exist. We all exist. The question is, are you living?
In the end, I realized that being without life is not what I want for myself. So I made changes - I followed all seven of the recommendations discussed in this article, and never looked back.
If you are in the same position that I was once in, seeking everyone's approval for even the smallest action, please take this post into consideration and start changing today. Life is too short to procrastinate.
"The most unhappy people in this world are the ones who worry the most about what others think of them."
"What's wrong with wanting to please others?" Today I want to discuss why it is unreasonable to try to please everyone and how to resist it.
Seeking approval from others is great until you endanger your health and happiness. This becomes a serious problem if you begin to feel that the widespread approval of others is the only thing you live for. There was a time in my life when I felt the same way.
I literally felt I needed a breath - as if I could die if people didn't approve of me. This is a condition that developed in me when I was young, after the kids in elementary school teased me as a "nerd." I did everything I could to get their approval. Although I grew out of my difficult age quite early, the damage was done - I was left with a sense of insecurity. All the time I was striving for someone else's approval and begged for it.
The big problem was that, as an economically active college graduate in his twenties, I felt that whatever and whenever I did or thought about anything, it was reasonable only if it was "right." And by "right" I meant only "what other people think is right." I was afraid to go beyond acceptability: it was especially detrimental to my creativity as I tried to develop my passion for writing and blogging.
Once I realized what I was doing, I read several books, talked to a trainer and diligently focused on correcting this trait of mine.
The main point is that the constant search for approval forces you to miss out on the beauty of just being yourself with your own unique ideas and desires. If you live your whole life doing only what is expected of you, then in a sense, you stop living.
So how can you stop being afraid of what others think? Let's watch.
When I first started blogging, I wondered if people would think what I was writing was good enough. I desperately hoped that they would like it, and often I caught myself thinking that it was not. Then one day I realized how much energy I was wasting worrying about it. So I gradually learned to just not worry about the unknown.
Some problems in life must remain unresolved, such as not knowing what people think of you. The way people perceive you, in any case, should worry them more than you. They may like you or not like you just because you remind them of someone from the past who they liked or disliked and this has absolutely nothing to do with you.
So here is a new mantra for you, repeat it over and over again: "This is my life, my choice, my mistakes and my experience. As long as I do not offend people, I should not worry about what they think of me."
Ethel Barrett once said, "We will worry less about what others think of us if we understand how rarely they do." Nothing could be closer to the truth.
Forget what anyone else thinks about you, maybe they don't think about you at all. If you felt everything that they feel, you would understand that the feeling that they are looking at you and criticizing your every move is a pure figment of your imagination. It is your own inner fears that create this illusion. The problem is how you evaluate yourself.
How many times have you looked at a person and first formed the wrong opinion about their abilities? Appearances are deceptive. How you seem to someone else, and what you really are, rarely coincides. Even if they have an idea of your true identity, they still lack most of the puzzle. What someone thinks about you will rarely contain the whole truth, and that's fine.
If someone forms an opinion about you based on what lies on the surface, they themselves must correct it based on a more objective and rational point of view. Give them the opportunity to worry about it if they have an opinion at all.
Key Point: What other people think of you is their problem, not yours. The less you care what they think of you, the easier your life will become.
People will think what they want to think. No matter how carefully you choose your words and mannerisms, there is always a good chance that they will be twisted and distorted by someone. Does it really matter in the grand order of things? No, it's not like that.
It doesn't matter how others see you. The most important thing is how you see yourself. When you make an important decision, remember: what you think of yourself and your life is more important than what others think of you. Stay true to YOURSELF. Never be ashamed to do what you think is right. Decide for yourself that what you think is right and stick to it.
If you think like everyone else, you don't think. And if you don't think, you don't really live.
It's human nature to strive to imitate other people we respect, such as parents or celebrities, especially when we feel insecure about our own skin. But trying to be someone else will always leave a feeling of inner emptiness. Why? Because what we value in people we admire is their personality, a quality that makes them unique. To copy them, it is necessary to develop our own personality, but in this way we will be less like them and more like ourselves.
We all have personalities and unique perspectives. The more relaxed you become in your identity, the more relaxed you will begin to feel just being YOURSELF. Rejoice at the opportunity to be different, to follow a path different from the beaten track. If you feel like a fish pulled out of water, by all means, find a new river to swim. But don't change yourself. Be who you are.
It's okay to be aware of what you don't want to feel, but that's not all you need to think about. Imagine someone trying to learn to read by spending all their time focusing on how much they don't want to be able to read. It doesn't make any sense at all, does it?
Enough! Forget for a moment that you don't want to feel. Decide right now what you REALLY want to feel in the present moment. Learn to live in the here and now, not regretting that someone once condemned you and not fearing the possibility of future condemnation.
If one day you had to give your mom CPR in public, you would be 100% focused on it. You wouldn't think about what eyewitnesses think about your hair, your body type, or the brand of jeans you are wearing. All these insignificant details would disappear from your consciousness. The tension of the situation would make you stop caring about what others might think of you. This clearly proves that thinking about what others will think is your own CHOICE.
Say what you think, even if your voice trembles. Of course, be sincere and reasonable, but do not choose every word carefully. Push aside your worries about what others might think. Let events take their course. And you will discover that for the most part no one will be offended or annoyed at all. And if someone gets really upset, it's probably only because you started acting in a way that made them less powerful over you.
Think about it. Why be a cheater?
Ultimately, the truth usually reveals itself one way or another, and when that happens, if you have lived a double life, you will be left alone. So start living the truth right now. If someone makes your life difficult and says, “you have changed,” that is not a bad thing. It simply means that you have stopped living your life in someone else's way. Don't apologize for this. Instead, be open and sincere, explain how you feel, and keep doing what you feel is right in your heart.
Afterword
A life of continually spent pleasing people who may be incapable of showing sympathy, or trying too hard to always do the “right thing” is a sure way to a regretful existence.
Do more than just exist. We all exist. The question is, are you living?
In the end, I realized that being without life is not what I want for myself. So I made changes - I followed all seven of the recommendations discussed in this article, and never looked back.
If you are in the same position that I was once in, seeking everyone's approval for even the smallest action, please take this post into consideration and start changing today. Life is too short to procrastinate.
