Lord777
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Communication difficulties arise when, during a conversation, the opponent tries to achieve his manipulative goals. He is trying to "knock" you off the development of thought. And in fact, he uses manipulation techniques. In this post, we will tell you about 6 proven techniques for protecting against such manipulations.
Let us examine several methods of manipulation and techniques of protection against them.
Changing the topic of conversation.
If you notice that the other person has tried to skillfully change the subject, agree with him in one or two phrases. Supposedly you agree that this is an important issue. And then continue:
Common mistake: "Let's not get distracted!" - will lead communication to conflict.
Reducing the conversation to a joke.
What you told me reminded me of a joke from the Comedy Club, etc.
React to this with the understanding that this joke or anecdote is just a break in communication. Then say: “Great! Laughed and that's enough. Now I propose to get back to business!"
Only in any case, do not take your opponent's jokes at your own expense. Perhaps he "trolls" you and is just waiting for a response to this.
Common mistake: inept defense "Take this seriously!" - will cause a manipulative continuation: "Well, you don't understand jokes at all?" and the transition to personalities. As a result, the topic of conversation changes and you start to be manipulated.
Distorted words.
A common technique is when your opponent attributes to you something that you did not say. Therefore, it is important not to find out who is right and who is wrong. Use the correct protection:
Common mistake: engaging in verbal combat. Like, "I didn't say that!" or "You twisted my words!" etc. So everyone pulls the blanket to their side, and as a result, a conflict occurs.
Challenging arguments citing your incompetence.
If the topic of conversation has nothing to do with your area of expertise and is not related to your main arguments, then feel free to sacrifice it. This will show your opponent that you are willing to make mutual concessions and are able to admit your mistakes.
Then tell your opponent:
A common mistake: people who are inexperienced in communication and negotiations fall into a "trap", proving that although they do not understand this topic, they know this issue for sure. And on this they "stall" and in the end - give up their positions.
"Small injections".
The case when your opponent encourages you to go to a conflict in order to piss you off in this way.
Defense - ignore all the jokes of your opponent in your address. So that they do not achieve their goal and do not hurt your motives in any way. And when the opponent notices, his jokes do not affect you in any way, then the desire to pin up in the empty will abruptly disappear.
A common mistake is to respond in kind.
Jamming.
When the opponent feels that he cannot reasonably argue, in response, he prevents you from speaking. When you start talking, he will immediately interrupt you and begin to speak at the same time himself.
There are two options for the development of events:
Destructive: when you are pissed off, initiating various kinds of emotional reactions.
Constructive is when you let your opponent talk and wait until he stops his monologue. When you hear a pause, ask:
Finally
You should deliberately answer your question.
Let us examine several methods of manipulation and techniques of protection against them.
Changing the topic of conversation.
If you notice that the other person has tried to skillfully change the subject, agree with him in one or two phrases. Supposedly you agree that this is an important issue. And then continue:
It is important here that you pay attention to the fact that you care about your own and other people's time and there is a genuine interest in the topic concerned.
Common mistake: "Let's not get distracted!" - will lead communication to conflict.
Reducing the conversation to a joke.
What you told me reminded me of a joke from the Comedy Club, etc.
React to this with the understanding that this joke or anecdote is just a break in communication. Then say: “Great! Laughed and that's enough. Now I propose to get back to business!"
Only in any case, do not take your opponent's jokes at your own expense. Perhaps he "trolls" you and is just waiting for a response to this.
Common mistake: inept defense "Take this seriously!" - will cause a manipulative continuation: "Well, you don't understand jokes at all?" and the transition to personalities. As a result, the topic of conversation changes and you start to be manipulated.
Distorted words.
A common technique is when your opponent attributes to you something that you did not say. Therefore, it is important not to find out who is right and who is wrong. Use the correct protection:
The main point of the statement is "it is useless to argue." Do not find out who is right and who is wrong. Better to win over your opponent with the phrase "Interesting idea!"
Common mistake: engaging in verbal combat. Like, "I didn't say that!" or "You twisted my words!" etc. So everyone pulls the blanket to their side, and as a result, a conflict occurs.
Challenging arguments citing your incompetence.
If the topic of conversation has nothing to do with your area of expertise and is not related to your main arguments, then feel free to sacrifice it. This will show your opponent that you are willing to make mutual concessions and are able to admit your mistakes.
Then tell your opponent:
Make sure your opponent doesn't pay attention to your concessions. Use the phrase "Back to the question about ..." to switch the interlocutor's attention to the main topic of discussion.
A common mistake: people who are inexperienced in communication and negotiations fall into a "trap", proving that although they do not understand this topic, they know this issue for sure. And on this they "stall" and in the end - give up their positions.
"Small injections".
The case when your opponent encourages you to go to a conflict in order to piss you off in this way.
Defense - ignore all the jokes of your opponent in your address. So that they do not achieve their goal and do not hurt your motives in any way. And when the opponent notices, his jokes do not affect you in any way, then the desire to pin up in the empty will abruptly disappear.
A common mistake is to respond in kind.
This is how you accept your opponent's rules and start playing by them. As a result, you lose.
Jamming.
When the opponent feels that he cannot reasonably argue, in response, he prevents you from speaking. When you start talking, he will immediately interrupt you and begin to speak at the same time himself.
There are two options for the development of events:
Destructive: when you are pissed off, initiating various kinds of emotional reactions.
or
This will be followed by: "You yourself interrupt me!" - "Not true! Themselves such ...". The ending of this conversation is obvious.
Constructive is when you let your opponent talk and wait until he stops his monologue. When you hear a pause, ask:
It is important to wait for a positive answer here. Or persistently, ask: "Let me express all my thoughts on this matter."
Finally
You should deliberately answer your question.
- Show your interlocutor the stupidity of his objections;
- Return the interlocutor "to the place";
- Choose the path of resistance or achieve your goals.
