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When we want to impress someone, we inevitably push out the best aspects of our personality. It turns out, completely in vain: research shows that demonstrating your vulnerability and weakness, on the contrary, increases the level of empathy for us from other people. The more non-critical flaws you have, the better people will treat you.
A professor who speaks to an audience and is noticeably agitated seems to the audience smarter than someone who speaks with the utmost confidence. Being shy and stupid the first time you meet is a tried-and-true, though not obvious, way to please your potential partner.
The Pygmalion effect. Higher expectations increase productivity.
Psychologist Robert Rosenthal conducted IQ tests in schools and then informed teachers about false results. Those children whose IQ was higher than the rest allegedly showed "average" results. And those who actually showed the average result were presented to the teachers as the owners of the best brains. What happened afterwards invariably?
Those students who were considered smarter by the teachers began to learn better. This is because the teachers' expectations of these students were higher than those of the rest. The growing pressure on schoolchildren forced them to study better. Rosenthal's findings are not unique to education. “Your expectations create your reality,” he concludes.
In general, if you want to achieve something meaningful in life, you will have to set deliberately unrealistic goals and overestimate your ability to achieve them. And it will work. In addition, scientists know that those leaders who demand unrealistic results from their subordinates, as a result, achieve from the team much more output than those who set only “real goals”.
The paradox of choice. The more options we have to choose from, the less satisfied we are with our decision.
Logically, it seems that the more options we have in front of us, the better. We like shops with a large assortment more than small shops. When there are many offers for career development, it seems to us that we will definitely make a good choice.
But psychologists Mark Lepper and Sheena Iyengar have proven that this is not the case.
As part of the experiment, the researchers asked one group of gourmets who went to the supermarket to choose one of six different types of jams for free, and another - one of 24. The results of the study showed that 30% of people who chose from six options were satisfied with their choice. Of those who had to choose one jar of gift jam out of 24, only 3% were satisfied.
The phenomenon was identified by psychologist Barry Schwartz. To ensure that the feeling that everything is going right does not leave you, he advises to artificially limit the number of options. This, incidentally, explains why users of Apple technology are more satisfied with it than users of other brands of gadgets. Or why those who shop for groceries at small grocery stalls feel more satisfied than those who go to huge hypermarkets.
Bystander effect. The more people around a person in need of help, the less likely it is that someone will help him.
This effect was well illustrated long ago in the parable of the Good Samaritan. This also explains many tragic events in our history.
If one of the people on the street is in trouble and needs help, then he is much more likely to receive it if one person passes by than if there is a crowd of people nearby. If someone is shouting for help, and there is a huge number of people nearby, then each of them will prefer to ignore the pleas for help, because “others will help”. If a plea for help is addressed to a specific person on a deserted street, then the chances that they will respond to it are many times greater. This, incidentally, explains the callousness and coldness of large cities.
If you are in a difficult situation and need help, then do not immediately contact everyone who can help, but address, personally, to someone. Simply put, it is better to shout not “Help at least someone!”, But “Man in a gray coat, save me!”.
Spotlight Effect. People whose head is constantly filled with thoughts do not notice the obvious things.
Most people at this point in time are busy with some kind of serious thought. When they are in society, but immersed in their thoughts, they do not even notice the obvious things, scientists from Cornell University have proved.
To put it simply, it doesn't really matter what you look like if you are going to an office or university. Most people will simply not pay attention to your appearance. You are much less of the spotlight than you think. Therefore, you can stop worrying about the external attributes of life. Do not buy an expensive car or smartphone to show off in front of your colleagues: it may seem different to you, but most of them do not care what you own there. They are busy with their own problems.
Focusing effect. People overestimate the importance of things and phenomena about which they reflect.
"Nothing in life matters as much as you think." David Kahneman
How big is the difference in the daily mood between a person who earns $ 20 thousand per year and a person who earns 4000 UAH per month? Almost none. That is, it is there, but it is minimal.
Will you be happier if you spend the rest of your life in a house by the sea? Hardly. Strictly speaking, residents of California, with more than 300 days of sunshine a year, are no happier than New Yorkers or Chicagoans.
This effect, by the way, is actively used by marketers. They convince you that buying a particular product will make you happier. But they are unlikely to keep their promise.
To combat this psychological effect, you will have to learn one simple axiom: nothing will be as important in a year or even in a week as it seems to you today. Take life and its troubles easier and easier. And, yes, accept the fact that people simply do not know how to predict the future. Therefore, it will be better if you stop making any long-term plans at all.
A professor who speaks to an audience and is noticeably agitated seems to the audience smarter than someone who speaks with the utmost confidence. Being shy and stupid the first time you meet is a tried-and-true, though not obvious, way to please your potential partner.
The Pygmalion effect. Higher expectations increase productivity.
Psychologist Robert Rosenthal conducted IQ tests in schools and then informed teachers about false results. Those children whose IQ was higher than the rest allegedly showed "average" results. And those who actually showed the average result were presented to the teachers as the owners of the best brains. What happened afterwards invariably?
Those students who were considered smarter by the teachers began to learn better. This is because the teachers' expectations of these students were higher than those of the rest. The growing pressure on schoolchildren forced them to study better. Rosenthal's findings are not unique to education. “Your expectations create your reality,” he concludes.
In general, if you want to achieve something meaningful in life, you will have to set deliberately unrealistic goals and overestimate your ability to achieve them. And it will work. In addition, scientists know that those leaders who demand unrealistic results from their subordinates, as a result, achieve from the team much more output than those who set only “real goals”.
The paradox of choice. The more options we have to choose from, the less satisfied we are with our decision.
Logically, it seems that the more options we have in front of us, the better. We like shops with a large assortment more than small shops. When there are many offers for career development, it seems to us that we will definitely make a good choice.
But psychologists Mark Lepper and Sheena Iyengar have proven that this is not the case.
As part of the experiment, the researchers asked one group of gourmets who went to the supermarket to choose one of six different types of jams for free, and another - one of 24. The results of the study showed that 30% of people who chose from six options were satisfied with their choice. Of those who had to choose one jar of gift jam out of 24, only 3% were satisfied.
The phenomenon was identified by psychologist Barry Schwartz. To ensure that the feeling that everything is going right does not leave you, he advises to artificially limit the number of options. This, incidentally, explains why users of Apple technology are more satisfied with it than users of other brands of gadgets. Or why those who shop for groceries at small grocery stalls feel more satisfied than those who go to huge hypermarkets.
Bystander effect. The more people around a person in need of help, the less likely it is that someone will help him.
This effect was well illustrated long ago in the parable of the Good Samaritan. This also explains many tragic events in our history.
If one of the people on the street is in trouble and needs help, then he is much more likely to receive it if one person passes by than if there is a crowd of people nearby. If someone is shouting for help, and there is a huge number of people nearby, then each of them will prefer to ignore the pleas for help, because “others will help”. If a plea for help is addressed to a specific person on a deserted street, then the chances that they will respond to it are many times greater. This, incidentally, explains the callousness and coldness of large cities.
If you are in a difficult situation and need help, then do not immediately contact everyone who can help, but address, personally, to someone. Simply put, it is better to shout not “Help at least someone!”, But “Man in a gray coat, save me!”.
Spotlight Effect. People whose head is constantly filled with thoughts do not notice the obvious things.
Most people at this point in time are busy with some kind of serious thought. When they are in society, but immersed in their thoughts, they do not even notice the obvious things, scientists from Cornell University have proved.
To put it simply, it doesn't really matter what you look like if you are going to an office or university. Most people will simply not pay attention to your appearance. You are much less of the spotlight than you think. Therefore, you can stop worrying about the external attributes of life. Do not buy an expensive car or smartphone to show off in front of your colleagues: it may seem different to you, but most of them do not care what you own there. They are busy with their own problems.
Focusing effect. People overestimate the importance of things and phenomena about which they reflect.
"Nothing in life matters as much as you think." David Kahneman
How big is the difference in the daily mood between a person who earns $ 20 thousand per year and a person who earns 4000 UAH per month? Almost none. That is, it is there, but it is minimal.
Will you be happier if you spend the rest of your life in a house by the sea? Hardly. Strictly speaking, residents of California, with more than 300 days of sunshine a year, are no happier than New Yorkers or Chicagoans.
This effect, by the way, is actively used by marketers. They convince you that buying a particular product will make you happier. But they are unlikely to keep their promise.
To combat this psychological effect, you will have to learn one simple axiom: nothing will be as important in a year or even in a week as it seems to you today. Take life and its troubles easier and easier. And, yes, accept the fact that people simply do not know how to predict the future. Therefore, it will be better if you stop making any long-term plans at all.
