How and where to find strong and valuable friends of carders

[Brother]

Is it hard to find people you would like to surround yourself with - smart and those who really do something meaningful and useful? We think it's not difficult, but it takes patience and practice.

The people you surround yourself with and spend most of your time with greatly influence your life. If you are in a conscious search for such friends who influence you positively due to their unique qualities, knowledge and skills, find them and actively communicate with them, then you will certainly develop and grow. And vice versa - you cannot become better if you surround yourself with people without goals and aspirations, blaming others for everything.

Of course, friendship is not something that can be built by making anyone at will into a friend. The article will rather focus on networking and connections that can be translated into friendship. So, the strategy for finding useful acquaintances consists of two steps:

1. Find people and find out if they can give you something new.
2. Befriend them by establishing rapport: identify their dominant memes and focus conversations around them.

Don't consider these strategies selfish. Each of us wants to make useful contacts, just not everyone has the courage to do this.

Find people​

Eleanor Roosevelt believed: "Strong minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, weak minds discuss people." It couldn't be better. Say this quote out loud and think about it for a few minutes.

Write it down in a prominent place: sticker, board, wall. Take a look at this quote every day. Analyze yourself: what do you most often discuss?

Now find people. Analyze the conversation with them at these three levels:

• Strong minds = ideas . Such people talk about what will happen . They are ready to discuss their ideas for hours without losing their enthusiasm.
• Average minds = events . Such people talk about the Olympics, football, concerts. They talk about what happened.
• Weak minds = people . These people talk about other people's actions, perhaps about celebrities, gossip about acquaintances. They talk about other people because they don't believe they can do anything themselves. They have a spectator mentality.

The first group is important and extremely rare. These are the ones you need to look for.

Strong minds are doers and critical thinkers; they are the people who set the pace that everyone follows. Average and weak minds are people who observe and react.

If you start observing people, you will soon see key differences.

Make friends with them​

Yes, you can make friends with a person by chance, completely without thinking about his inner world, and you have the right to do so. But if you want to befriend someone on purpose, you can follow these tips.

How to do it? Adjusting to the reality of the interlocutor and finding out everything about his ideas and beliefs. This is a pretty daunting task, but when you learn it, you will be amazed at the results you get.

It turns out that you need to flatter the other person? No, flattery is insincere and highly undesirable. The idea behind memes goes deeper: when you interact with another person, it is not always an authentic interaction. True interaction means a dialogue between two people who do not seek approval from each other and whose goal is to discuss ideas and train the intellect. That is, the main purpose of such communication is to learn from each other, and not to make an impression. Both interlocutors invest in the conversation.

Why are authentic interactions so rare? Because in our time people are often unconscious in conversations with each other:

1. They are busy playing a role (they really don't know who they are): most of their limited attention is focused only on maintaining their social status, planning what to do or say next. This prevents them from listening to each other.
2. They do not know how to concentrate and pay attention: any stimulus knocks them out of the saddle.

Take a fresh look at interacting with other people. Remain yourself and be completely in conversation.

So how do you identify dominant memes? With practice, this will be easy. Feed on the reality of your interlocutor:

• Listen to it in an impartial manner, don't judge.
• Agree with what he says, but don't agree.
• Talk about things that interest him.

All this will force the interlocutor to keep talking. And the more he speaks, the more soul he puts into words, and the closer you become to him.

Many people think that such communication is manipulation. That's a very difficult question. Perhaps manipulation is a situation in which you harm the interlocutor for your own good. If this is not the case, then communication is taking place. Yes, you nod more often than usual, but who said it was bad? Learning to be a nice person isn't as bad as it sounds.

Communicate with helpful and strong people while being yourself. We wish you good luck!